Can You Change Your Mind?
Staring into the Cosmic Mirror of Change
Q: Can You Change Your Mind?
A: After much tireless curiosity around this subject and meticulously investigating my true motivations and relationship to change, I can honestly say yes. And...it truly is the hardest, most arduous, and disciplined notion I believe a human can undergo. Changing a mind is not just making a new decision, it is diving deep into the crux of the origin of being. It is the initial motion of intentionality and observing oneself with a keen hawk-eye attitude of honesty.
I have worked within many mediums inside the insatiable journey towards transforming myself and the way I think and feel. From decades in service to the Deva Ayahuasca to self-inquiry and vipassana meditation, etc., and for me it all comes back to my relationship to my being. Who am I being? Literally. And who am I being in relation to my Being? Faithfully.
Real Change
Recently I have been preparing myself for some real change. Not my hair, although I need a haircut. Not my location - I am already the nomadic artist in residence wherever I find myself. And not my vocation, although that seems to be a consistently evolving reflective surface depending on the chapter of life I am living. I am talking about real change, the staring-at-my-face-in-the-cosmic-mirror-of-my-naked-soul kind of change.
Deep sigh. If you’ve been reading my journal for some time, you know this about me. I am not shy about my passion for inner work and the tremendous process of mind I live on a daily basis. Even if I am taking time away from my duties and responsibilities of the world, there is no time off from my observation of self. I’ve been on a sabbatical for the past month healing and re-evaluating my life to this moment. It has been a profound experience to give even more objectivity and perspective to myself as a gift while in this transit.
Treasures
What am I learning? So much. Even if I “knew” some of these things I am in such a beginner's state of mind, allowing me to learn these lessons all over again. Here are a few treasures…
I am learning that: I am not in control. I don’t want to be a driving force. I want to unfold into my receptivity. Yearning does not equate to having. Magic is real. Visions have their own time of realization. I need to meditate twice a day. I have to face my insecurities rather than run from them. Everything is possible, truly. It is uncomfortable to tread earth (quicksand). I really am a nomad at heart. I see things that are difficult to see. I am a really deep diver. I take courageous risks. The body is a truth-teller (thank God). I have failed a lot and each failure, a success. I am finding my way through a dark night. I am a musician. I’ve lived many lives in this lifetime. I am a creative and I can no longer stop the flow. I have been hiding myself. I am ready to begin...again.
Each one of these lessons is connected to an aspect of mind that I am actively working to change within myself. For better or for inner work, I am either expanding or contracting into the above in an embodied and visceral way. My life is a somatic journey as I have always processed my emotions, traumas, and past through my body as the truth-teller that it is. Right now, it just wants to dance itself into the freedom to express with total abandon.
Change is coming...
~ Listen to previous New Moon meditations here
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.