A YEAR IN REVIEW

Q: What Did 2023 Teach You?

A: Can you imagine a water cocoon? I recently had a dream that I was inside of one. Maybe if I were a whale I would just call it home? Anyhow, a dear friend of my heart reminded me when I shared this with him that this wasn’t the first time I had been in one of these. Rebirth is near, which means this year has been so much about death, release, and honestly, endurance.

And water is in the air so to speak with a very full and emotionally overflowing Cancer moon illuminating tenderness and deep ravines that need a little extra TLC. This is a moment to let yourself feel what needs to be felt and also attend to what feels nourishing for you. Intuition runs high and allows the tears to cleanse you of long-held emotional sentiments that you simply do not need to bring into the next chapter of your life. It is a time of reflection, let’s do that together…

HIGHS AND LOWS OF 2023

So what was that??? LOL or SOS? 2023 has been both as radiant as an orchestral cover of the song of my life and as tormenting as a painfully sad Fado-induced coma. I’ve lived it in 5 parts and a synopsis would read as such: 1. Taken to the edge of my existence, where I touched into the intrinsic pulsation of life itself. 2. Surprised by what may or may not be, 3. I’ve become witness to a point in time and space where faith is the only key to my destiny and then…4. Relentlessly held upon that very cusp and forced to wait and observe. 5. My heartbeat resounds through my inner sanctuary like a thunderous whisper and I ask, can I survive this? Can I find my way? Yes, yes you can, answers my Being, yes you can.

I can’t remember a more potent chrysalis than this year. And though metamorphosis is my way of navigating through life, the internal shifts I have witnessed, while participating in them, feel monumental in ways I have never known. I encourage you to review what you’ve learned this past year, it may help you to integrate the lessons further into the soil of your soul.

LEARNINGS OF 2023

Here are some highlights I have learned/am learning.

Endure discomfort. I wrestled with a Bangladeshi flu that turned my digestive tract inside out for 9 months of which I couldn’t lay down or be horizontal. I slept in meditation or rather I sat in meditation rather than slept for that time. It was rigorous, painful, extremely challenging, and through deep prayer and an eventual combination of antibiotics and peyote, I found the light once again.

Stand up for myself. I was pushed to my limits this year in more ways than one. Where I’ve been weak I am stronger and one way was in forming new professional boundaries in my relationship with authority. It was powerful and caused me to face the nauseating realms of self where I was simply not being attentive to my well-being as much as I needed to be.

Follow the gold. There is nothing more satisfying than following intuition and getting to reap the benefits of trusting oneself enough to do so.

Listen to the sound. Sound is calling me, and to where I do not yet know. I’ve had intimate experiences dancing with sound and following it into the origin of my very Being. This has altered my perspective in dramatic and gorgeous ways. I am so new to listening to the teacher that is Sound and yet am excited to continue remembering in every way possible.

Rise to the occasion. My dearest sister gave birth to a powerful beauty named Ursula. I was honored to be her birthing partner and to have the joyous opportunity to witness Ursula come into this world with her eyes wide open and then stare into those same eyes during the first hour of her life. We are forever bonded, soulmates and kindred spirits. Is there any occasion more beautiful than birth?

Celebrate freedom. Sometimes it is hard to know we are imprisoned until we are released into freedom. I had that experience this year, as I took my first breath outside of where I had been so utterly and creatively limited, causing me to reevaluate my choices, my energy, and the direction of my focus.

Take good care. A continuing ed class on this subject for sure. I am constantly learning how to take better care and learning what nourishes me. Now I am focused on rhythm and routines. I still resist as I love the magic of every moment and am surrendering to the expansive truth that lives in a disciplined existence.

Show up. When you receive the invitation of a lifetime, you go, you just do. Even if it seems ridiculous, there is no excuse to pass on the miraculous. This year I was gifted an opportunity to say yes to an experience that would change my life forever and of course it did and yes, I am so happy to have made that choice. Curious? Ask me…it is too precious for words on a page right now.

Love. I am beginning to learn to give and receive love in a new way. What does that even mean? I don’t know but I will keep you posted. It is but a glimpse of something so profound, so ancient, yet so new. A part of me is awakening and I can only pray that I will be able to live this experience into fullness. Another part of me is disintegrating, that which isn’t able to give and receive love at all. Thank goodness for the chrysalis of 2023.

All my best to you and please receive the piece of my heart that lives inside these words. See you in 2024!

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