What Do You Remember?
MUSING ON MEMORY AND A CANCER MOON
Q: What Do You Remember?
A: Memory is such a deep well of exploration. Each of us carries it very near within, not to mention throughout the fabric of our psyche in every ravine, crevasse, and mountain pass that we may stumble upon while traveling through the inner landscape of our beingness. Astrologically our memory is associated with the 4th house and where Cancer represents in your personal chart. And let’s be clear, memory isn’t just about recalling where you put your car keys or only used for ‘memorizing’ words for a middle school play. Memory is an ancient doorway to the past which is where most of you lives.
As I write this, a couple of days before publishing this journal and podcast, the moon is in Cancer. When I sit down to write these weekly testimonies to the miracles of life that is itself a gift from the cosmos, it means I have waited for a moment of ripening. I literally cannot write these until my heart guides me to sit down and do so. I never know what wants to come out either and I write it all in one take. I am thankful that you’re with me on this journey and somehow we are able to commune inside these words and provocative thoughts on a weekly basis.
THE EXPERIENCE OF GETTING READY FOR
I woke up this morning feeling full, full of energy, of thoughts, of feelings, and questions. I hardly slept last night but as the sun rose, so did I, and under the water of my shower I went. I could feel the stirring inside, and continued to listen for what wanted to move, and even express. HuMmmmmming into toning, into scales, into song, I let the water run over me, washing away any residue from yesterday. I wrapped my hair in a towel, and swirled into my robe. Hours of sitting, communing, exploring, dreaming, experiencing, inspiring, and investigating eventually brought me here to where I can no longer wait to bring my experience to this page.
Why is memory at the forefront of my mind? And curiously thinking, what part of my mind does it usually inhabit? Anyhow, the moon moving through Cancer is reflecting the light of the Scorpionic sun in my 5th house of creativity and self-expression. And though the past is not something I am allergic to, I also don’t dwell there. I have trained to work with it as a means of exploration and re-membering. Scorpio is certainly encouraging me to go deeper, see more, and feel more. Today the emotional waters are running through the mysterious veins of the more hidden passages of my inner world.
USING THE PAST TO GAIN CLARITY & PRESENCE
It isn’t that I am consciously rummaging through looking for anything, or even looking back. I am here, present, and memories are emerging as if they want to live again, another chance to reveal even more understanding and clarity than I have yet to know. More than when I actually lived the experiences themselves. Observing the memories surfacing, I am also inspired by their sheer power to take me from where I find myself now to other realms I’ve traversed before yet no longer exist except in my mind and perhaps in the minds of others who were also there.
Perceiving as I travel, I witness that memory is everywhere, in my thoughts, in my sensations, in my body, muscle tissues, in my blood, in my emotions. In fact, my whole self is not only touched by memory, it is memory. Memory reveals itself as a portal to knowing myself and as I re-member* I gather lost aspects of who I have been. And I know that I am not currently embodying all of these aspects of myself consciously, however, there is a strong invitation to acknowledge that this is a possibility.
I sit on the cusp of presence and yet am ‘presencing’ my past. And as I do so, I am filled to the brim of my current capacity to know myself. Time to stretch my mind! Time for some Jnana yoga to expand the reach of my ability to see, feel, and think, so as to be able to receive the said invitation and go beyond where I have ever found myself before. The fullness begins to release as I surrender and listen. Integrate, listen, integrate, listen…and the tension lessens, the edges soften, and soon I am just like the waning moon in Cancer. Feeling into my relating with memory in this way not only offers me a resting acceptance of where I have been but also new vitality and fortitude with the support at my back to venture into a new future with grateful enthusiasm and a glimpse of the magic ahead.
*re-member | rɪˈmɛmbə |
verb
1 [with object] have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (a part of you from the past): I re-member myself as I become aware of where I have been and who I truly am as I continue my process of self-actualization.
All my best to you and please receive the piece of my heart that lives inside these words.
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