What Is the Sound of Your Heartbeat?

THE INNER COMPASS OF YOUR HEART

Q: What Is the Sound of Your Heartbeat?

A: One week has passed after the recent eclipse season came to a heightened conclusion and I am still feeling the aftershocks. I love them though, as I can definitely say my life has taken some dramatic twists in recent days. In fact, just weeks ago I was scouring the basement of my own despair and wondering “how” this would all work out. Taking a running leap into the unknown at full speed and arriving in New York City without a plan was starting to look slightly foolish. Could I really do this? Yes, my heart was still clear and my faith, unwavering. But how?? Then the answers started to arrive one by one.

ONE-WAY TICKET TO NYC

Arriving in this brilliant city on a one-way ticket and a hunch is not for the faint of heart and yet it is a common story here. It seems that NYC draws a particular type of grit that is willing to forge in the fire of structure and intensity. Sign me up! I love hearing the stories of how people came to live here. New York is one of those places where if you can make it, you can make it anywhere. I’ve never shied away from a challenge but I didn’t anticipate that I would be taking on this one.

With a financial runway to support myself through the month of November, I started to feel an immense amount of pressure at the end of October as to how I was going to support myself and continue to listen to the knowing that this was where I needed to be. Getting a place to live was my first step, a primal experience but I prevailed and am so happy in my East Village walk-up. Then “the job”. There is something painful around cold applications, rejections, being ghosted after interviews, etc. I can now relate to how it can wear even the optimistic down.

SMOOTH EFFORT

After putting so much effort into the pipeline of possibilities, I did receive a job offer. However, it didn’t come from “efforting” at all. I received a call from a brilliant and dynamic woman, a genius in her field of design and architecture whom I deeply admire, asking me to consider working with her. After a couple of days of hashing out details, I accepted her offer and couldn’t be happier. In actuality, I am settling into a dream job. I had told many when meeting over tea that I was seeking to “work with a brilliant mind, doing meaningful work with whom I could learn from and support on a deep level from my vast array of skillsets or to manage an amazing space where creativity flourishes.” I am in awe that my new role as Studio Director at Reddymade is a combination of exactly those two elements.

It has been less than a week at my new job and the fruits of my new found structure are already revealing themselves. As I need to work to support my art (music, writing, insatiable dreaming) habit, I can also happily say that music is reemerging into my life with a fervor and wants my attention. I was so fortunate to be invited into a sound meditation this past weekend offered by a true master teacher versed in classical, jazz, world music, and beyond. There is so much to say and I am still integrating my experience but I began to see the “how” and even the “why” of my New York adventure coming into form.

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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.