Certainty?
LIFE AS MY TEACHER
Q: Certainty?
A: In moments of significant doubt, I attune to what feels certain. I am alive, I am breathing, I am here on earth. Life moves on, heartbeats keep beating, and somewhere in the wilderness of it all, there is a presence within me that is eternal. I lean in. This deeply intimate love caresses my soul in the most difficult of times and ruffles my skin in shivers when I hear the truth. There is a knowing, a powerful intimacy that resounds from within that I can fall into when all else appears to be lost.
This moment of life is an incredible teacher to me. I feel so raw and vulnerable, yet possible and fervent in my vigor for life. There is no evidence that any of this will work out, I am on the edge of something, a certainty that is unfathomable to me. Why? I have never been here before. I can’t comprehend or pretend to understand what comes next. Or who I will meet that may change my life forever. I just know that I am to keep walking. I fall down, I get back up, and I keep walking.
Impossibility is a word that has never resonated with me. I suppose I am wired to seek another way through, whether inside, outside, on either side, on top of, or underneath…there has to be a way. And if there is not a way that I can perceive, what are the ways that I cannot perceive? The inquiry is vast and for me, only leads to more possibilities.
For this week’s journal, I pledge to remain elusive, to stay vague, and only subtly illuminate the shapes and textures of this moment in the form of words and tone. This is often how feelings flow through a psyche before coming into form. There is a sense they exist, there is a rumbling from within, and only at the ripeness do they reveal themselves to be felt and fully expressed if we allow. There is a metaphor for my own ripening here as if my entire existence is one thunderous emotion waiting to be expressed as a feeling.
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.