Home Is Where?
CHANGE, TRANSITIONS, AND THE UNKNOWN
Q: Home is Where?
A: The heart is. Is that where my home is? Wherever my heart pulls, calls, nudges, or dares me to go? Right now I am surrounded by life in the uprooted form. My belongings are strewn about into piles of purge, sell, pack, and awaiting the inevitable…change. Have you ever heard that our home represents our mind and body? And that is why it can be helpful to clean the house when needing perspective. If what I see right now is my mind/body, I can only describe it as the elegance of upheaval. My color palette of the last 6 years is swathing my view, yet the serenity of what has been is no longer. There is no going back, I am (mind/body in the form of material possessions) soon being distributed amongst the valley I have always called home in some form or another.
letting go
I am literally sitting in a sea of stuff. How many times in your life have you done the same? Does thinking of this bring back visceral memories of exhaustion, overwhelm, and perhaps some other emotion such as excitement or sadness? Movement, change, purgation, letting go…there are moments and there are moments. This is one of them for me. This is definitely a moment in time that I am recording as a threshold crossing from Part 1 into Part 2 of my life. I suppose I can thank Pluto for continuing to work my identity into an oblivion of sorts. There is no real plan either. All I can do is listen for each next step.
Precisely I am in Wyoming right now. This wilderness, the mountains, and the Snake River have raised me through various chapters of life. I am in a bit of awe at this particular transition, as I am leaving behind the vast open skies in exchange for skyscraper landscapes and concrete under my feet. The sagebrush after a rain, the sideways hail in an unexpected August storm, elk crossing the driveway, the pristine beauty that envelopes me every time I walk outside of my tiny cabin. All of this will soon be another memory of where I have been before.
MY NEW HOME
In a week I will be “home”. A third-story walk up in the East Village, and instead of moose and eagles, I will be immersed in the rhythm and bustle of a different sort of bohemian rhapsody. Life has a distinct flavor in the city of New York. It pulses with the unexpected and the potential of unparalleled twists of fate around every corner. Food, sounds, people, music, energy, purpose…there is an “everything is possible” feeling that simply is the best.
My heart. It is with me for sure. It is also soaked into my environment, and as I touch everything I own, and much of it for the last time, I exhale in profound gratitude for the journey thus far. I am thrilled that several people whom I love dearly will be on the receiving end of gifts, furniture, clothing, books, etc. I can feel my heartbeat, a raw and healing type of beat that reads like a preface to the new book my life is writing. There is death and there is birth. I feel myself in between the two.
GRATITUDE
Thank you to everyone who has been checking in on me along the way. I really appreciate hearing from you. Sometimes making epic life leaps can feel utterly devastating to any semblance of security. And when there is nothing but faith to hold onto, a sweet hello or a connection of thought and solidarity is so welcome. I don’t know where this trajectory is taking me, but I do know that I am exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to do. And your presence is such a gift Thank you also to those of you who are riding these tsunami waves of change with me and beside me. You know who you are and I love you immensely. I could not do this without your presence and support. A thousand thank yous is just the beginning of the articulation of my gratitude. Happy new moon!
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.