How Can I Feel So Much Light in the Face of Death?
A TRIBUTE of life
Q:How Can I Feel So Much Light in the Face of Death?
A: Caroline Kane…A woman of love, integrity, laughter, and compassion. Her energy, so full of light. As she passed in these recent days, I remind myself to focus on the new direction of her light, omni in presence and unlimited in scope.
And inside my heart, her light radiates as a brilliant fire of pure gold.
It is so hard for us left behind to understand the why or how of these mysterious thresholds of death. While observing my own unconscious effort to try and make sense of it all I instead, playfully, make up that Caroline has been called to duty to lead from the heart as a mid-century youth of the future who has a voice of reverberating wisdom, is fearless of the limitations of death, and brings a new message from the other side. Where will her spirit shine next?
In this life, she also taught me how to bridge worlds. Not only did she work in a very corporate environment when I met her, but she was also doing things not one of her other colleagues would dare. Where she spent her time during the day was very different from where she spent her time during the night; amplifying her consciousness to discover the truth of who she was, inside and out.
I saw her as fearless and incredibly courageous in her inner work. Caroline completely transformed and met immense fear in her process…all before her diagnosis. She did some of the biggest work I’ve ever seen someone do, again predating her latest journey with cancer. Although I suppose it is all one powerful journey, Caroline’s journey. One that wove between life, death, and the mystery in between.
These days have been tender. I do my yoga, I breathe, stretch, feel my body, walk, and eat; all things I do every day that Caroline no longer does. I continue to share these intimate moments with her in my heart, just one of the many gifts that she has given to me, presence.
Throughout, she continues to teach me how to live and how to die.
In processing her passing, I am so moved to do something to honor her and I write with this intention pouring from me. I also want to honor each of you who love her, who knew her, who celebrated her, and who celebrate her now. Because you are a part of her, we are a part of her.
I recognize that a part of me has died this week and another part of me has moved into a new reality of being. As I traverse this experience, I too face my greatest fears. I too get a glimpse of the extraordinary. I too am nourished by the light of God. I too surrender to the inevitable. I too let go of everything I’ve known and all the attachments, to my very last breath. I too am reborn into a new form…into light, into energy, into the next adventure. And I thank you, Caroline, for taking me there.
For more musings like this, subscribe here
Join Ciela’s Patreon
We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.