And What of Amor Fati?
a love of fate
Q:And What of Amor Fati?
A: Writing this week’s journal I was playing with the question, “Must I Accept This?” This question arose in response to simply being with what is so. When a loved one passes too soon, or thousands of lives are consumed by the earth and her tremors as has happened in Turkey. Or that I found myself in bed with the flu, so minor of course, and yet I still had to surrender to the fever that took me into its flame. Instead of the acceptance occurring as a forcing function, I rather look to my stoic and philosophical brothers such as Marcus Aurelius, and embrace the moment with all that I am.
Amor Fati is more than acceptance, it is a love of fate or a full embrace of life as it is. There truly is a revival of energy and a liberation of lifeforce that I find in the act of this way of being. It is 360 degrees of acquiescence of the past, present and future..all that has been, is, and will come to be. There is something radically altering about embodying this as I recognize how much I hold in response to past pain or in bracing myself for the unknown. Today I let go and love my fate. As I love this, I endure gusts of harsh metaphorical winds of change that I’ve lived and will continue to experience as a human on earth. There is no avoiding the arduous times of life, but there is a way of being in the approach and experience of it.
I recently learned a new definition for listening from Mark Nepo; “To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” There is a strong connection between listening and embracing life and I love how he weaves the two so eloquently through his words. Just as I have felt the intensity of those winds of change blast into me, I also have leaned in, almost held up against gravity by their ferocity. In moments like this, I am soft, surrendered, and not only willing but praying to be changed.
Reflecting on Amor Fati I realize I have embraced this naturally during the hardest times of my life; being exiled from a community I loved and adored, the loss of family members, illness, financial struggles, and the greatest leaps of faith into the unknown. And what have I learned from this? Everything is possible! That on the other side of every storm is a rainbow, and that life keeps life-ing.
IN AWE OF LIFE
We live in extraordinary circumstances, uniquely complex to each one of us and I find myself in complete awe when I sit before this reality. How does it all work? Why does one life look like this? And another, like that? And how has every moment of my life led me here, right now?
Is there anything that I would change? Is there anything I want so badly that I would impose my will to get it? The answer to the last two questions for me is an emphatic no. I’ve learned not to grab the captain's wheel but instead to study, learn, listen, and grow beside the great hands upon it that guide me from within.
The love of fate…relishing in what is so. Drinking in life as it comes and transmuting the challenges into bold lessons for enhancing one’s awareness. To meet change with every fiber of presence and greet it with gratitude. To rise above the pain and make art of yourself. I suppose I have a choice before any situation that is presented to me from any direction it comes. Regardless of how sweet or how sour, I can choose to be in love…or otherwise.
”A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.”
- Marcus Aurelius
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.