If You Could Have More of Anything, What Would It Be?
EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE
Q:If You Could Have More of Anything, What Would It Be?
A: God. What does this word mean to you? Every letter is a symbol that coalesces into form when put together to create a particular wor(l)d. There is a resonance, a vibration, and a powerful resounding tone that emanates from this word. Some may throw their life before it, surrendering to the intoxicating gaze of destiny and dance with wild abandon into the eternity that is God. Others may run, as far as they can from it, barely uttering these letters upon their tongue. While others may dissect it through time and space, tracing history with their intellect, “proving” the absence of such a thing as if a construct of the human mind itself.
I don’t know about you, but If I could have more of anything for the rest of my life and beyond into the next, it would be more God. For me, God is everything. Everything that is good, everything that is important to me, everything that is true. In contrast, tracing back upon the small insignificance of my ego and how I managed to survive in this society, confusing my ego for God well into my 20s, I now understand the devastating consequences of such a conclusion. It is complicated and not so literal to be sure.
SERVING THE BEING VS THE EGO
There was a moment, so crisp in my memory, where I realized as a warrior - a prominent archetype of my nature - I had been fighting for the wrong team. I’ve been a seeker since I can remember and my first taste and remembrance of God was in the first 6 years of my life with certitude. However, I am also stubborn, strong, and fierce with my dedication. It nearly broke me to recognize that I had been using my energy, and my will to only reinforce my own ego rather than to fight for the God within me. I had been tricked. I had been betrayed. And this betrayal came from none other than my ego itself.
Fortunately, that realization changed my trajectory. Over the course of many years from that point forward, I have worked from the depths of my guttural core inner strength as a disciple of my Being, juxtaposed with perpetually learning how to surrender, to transmute the very dense, deep, and challenging unconscious material of my psyche into crystalline consciousness. I always feel that I am just beginning and if I fall, I get back up. It is from this place of inner work, that I now know who I am fighting for on the battlefield of my mind, and for what I relentlessly choose to keep going towards in the face of the false attempts that try to swoon me back into a lulled stupor.
CONSCIOUS CHOICES
Destiny is a curious concept. I can see that there are many and it feels more like a choose-your-own-adventure to me than a direction I can simply set sail toward. Instead, I choose every day, every moment who I am being through my thoughts, emotions, words, actions, attitudes, beliefs, etc. Each choice is born from aligning my life with the one decision I have already made in my heart. Micro-choices to stay on the gold, to stay on the pulse of the commitment of my being. And if I should fail to align and begin to make different choices, a new destiny appears on the horizon. It is up to me to walk in the direction of the future I wish to live into and I am the responsible party in all cases. There is magic in self-responsibility and magic can be a powerful tool with positive impacts when utilized consciously and with awareness.
And ultimately, I have found myself at the doorstep of one request. In a world where more of this and more of that feeds the unconsciousness of our collective with a steady beat of marketing in every direction, I have settled on just one thing that I could ever want more of. More God. Not more money, more things, more power, more beauty, more sex, more food, more highs, more fill-in-the-blank. The only thing I actually yearn for is more God. And through this love that is undeniable, everything is possible. More strength, more courage, more grace, more impeccability…the list goes on and on. I don’t know much but I do know that all that is good in my life has come from God, everything. Just this sliver of diamond clarity is all I need, perhaps, except more God.
Happy Leo New Moon reflections to you…
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.