Eclipse Hangover?
LISTENING IN UNKNOWN TERRITORY
Q: ECLIPSE HANGOVER?
A: Me too. The past week has felt molasses-like in nature, luring me into witnessing unconscious territory brought to the surface by the recent eclipse season. It hasn’t been pretty, and definitely not easy. Tired isn’t even the word for it, I have felt exhaustion run through me. Resistance is a decent word for it although it isn’t only that. It feels to me that there is a deeper invitation to actually change my behavior and way of being in the world. Am I up for it? I would like to say yes…knowing it will require some heavy lifting.
WHO I’ve BEEN
I’ve been an entrepreneur for years, and actually, I always had these notions, even growing up, of wanting to work for myself. I sold the most magazines, chocolate bars, and girl scout cookies at school. I liked to win and I liked to see if I could beat my own records. From these early days, I had an inclination toward what it takes to be an entrepreneur; tenacity, determination, grit, and some charisma to boot (Capricorn).
THE PACE OF SURRENDER
However, in the last 6 months, I have seen another side of myself emerge. One that is less of a muscle-my-way-through-it and more of a be-patient-and-listen side. I am now in a new city, having flown to NYC on a one-way ticket without a plan in sight, I am craving to pull up my bootstraps and make something happen. But I just know, that is not the way forward for me right now.
It seems so ironic, as this is the perfect place for a go-getter like me. How is it that I am finally here and realize I cannot rest on my laurels once again? I am practicing something else, and it is very uncomfortable for me. Instead of taking action, I am softening into the moment. Listening is a superpower and I aspire to be an excellent listener, not only to my fellow humans but mainly to the higher power of my true heart's desire. So here I am, listening in a city of sirens, jackhammers, shouts, marches, trials, and triumphs. And what I hear is to “wait”.
In the meantime, I will continue to have fun doing things differently than I have before. I will take a new street every day. I will slow down when I’ve typically gone fast and I will let myself meander instead of jumping into a task. I will infuse my eyes with art and listen to different beats. Most importantly I will observe and learn about the unconscious patterns that have been driving me and work through super intimate efforts to organize a new navigation system from within.
If this takes more energy, so be it. I surrender.
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.