A PROMISE OF LOVE ON THE JOURNEY

Q: Where to Now?

A: Exactly. Good question. I found myself in tears many times over the past 24 hours. Tears of joy, tears of hope, tears of exhaustion…tears of letting go. I am simply amazed that in my current shedding process, there are more and more layers to release. I can’t even fathom who I am on the other side of this. It is both exciting and radical to contemplate.

For those of you who know me well, you know that transforming myself and rising from the ashes of the old is something I have come to embrace. This lifetime for me is not about a linear path with obvious clear goals in one direction. This life is a spiral of cycles with only one true goal, liberation. I am not new to swimming through my underworld, having to gather the courage from every aspect of my heart of hearts to take another dive in, to rise up. Yet once I do, the inevitable rebirth is as sweet as golden honey. The rebirth is where everything is possible once again.

THANK YOU

Thank you for reading these journals by the way. I really appreciate the opportunity I have had to share with you the trials, tribulations, and triumphs over these last several years. You’ve watched me hope and dream, as well as fall, and slowly get back up again. What else is there to life other than living it in its truest and rawest form of authenticity? Your companionship has meant a lot. I am thrilled to see where we go next.

FINDING MYSELF

This brings me to this week’s question…I am going home. Where is that? It is a journey. One of finding myself and connecting parts of myself that I haven’t been with in a very long time. It requires actual physical travel as well, at least in my case, and at this particular time in my life. You know when you just know that you have to go somewhere but you don’t know why? Me too. I have a knowing so strong in me that there is no room for fear or trepidation, even in the face of immeasurable obstacles.

It is my faith that leads me now. The inner knowing beyond intuition, beyond gut feelings. It is golden, cosmic, and as real as real can be. This does not equate to easy, this does not come without challenge. However, it does hold a promise, a promise of love felt from deep within my skin. A love so powerful that I feel ready to face myself again in ways I have been afraid of until now.

I do not know what the future holds. I can only see the next few steps in front of me. What I do know is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and listening intently as I go. There is a miracle in the making in my heart and this is enough for me to feel whole and complete in ways I have yet to feel until now. Thank you for witnessing me in this time. Regardless of what appears to be occurring from the outside as I continue to traverse this existential terrain on the inside, you can count on me to attempt the bold articulation of this psychological rebirth every step of the way.

For more musings like this, subscribe here

Join Ciela’s Patreon

We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.