How often do you find yourself simply being still? I’m reflecting on the stillness that is calling me from what feels like a faraway land, beyond the bustle of New York City, beyond the constant flow of thoughts that rush as a river through my unconscious, beyond the momentum of life that persists even if my body is not moving at all. Psalm 46:10 reads, Be still and know that I am God. What does this mean to you, if anything?
Read MoreI’m having one of those strange moments in life where I am starting to come out of a thick internal process that I didn’t realize I was in. Well, maybe I should back up a minute and rephrase that. I’m coming out of a process I very much knew I was in but didn’t know how deep I had gone. Hmmm, or is it that I am just starting to recall ways of being that have been on pause for a long time due to said process? Whatever it is, can you remind me?
Read MoreOk, so this moment feels complicated. No longer does summer equate to easy as it somehow did during my childhood. And even that feels like somewhat of a generalization as I don’t know if it was actually that easy back then either, having to get up at the crack of dawn to jump into a cold plunge of a swimming pool for swim team practice every day, even earlier than during the school year. All of this to say, we’ve officially entered summer and nothing feels easy about this moment…
Read MoreUpside down, Mercury squaring Neptune, boy you turn me. Inside out…and round and round. Anyone else feeling washing machine vibes? Is the current awareness of the acute complexity of challenging circumstances glaringly obvious to you too? And yet, is it also difficult to know which way is up? Same here. Although we’ve recently moved onto the shores of Cancer Season, this moment in time feels deeply mental, ripe with waves of confusion just murky enough to encourage pause from moving in any specific direction too fast…
Read MoreThere is nothing like waking up with vitality, feeling the inspired pull toward these keys to flush out some ruminating heart thoughts about a provocative inquiry. At least, for me, getting to share my enthusiasm, curiosities, and future memories or visions with you in this journal is quite a distinguished gem in the treasure chest of my life. And when an evening such as last night rolls through my life experience, I am all the more up and at ‘em, even after only a few hours of rest…
Read MoreThere is no end! Haha, in my humble opinion of course. This is not true from certain vantage points (we do die) and yet there is maha or “grand” truth so fervently embedded in that statement. Where am I going with this? Eternal life is defined perhaps by the incessant continuation of the cycles of death, rebirth, and transformation inherent within the rhythms of life itself. For example, we die to one way of being in the womb, once surviving through our umbilical cord and swimming in amniotic fluid, to then an abrupt ending as we die to being a fetus and are born into this world…
Read MoreMoments ago I laid down on my floor and let every part of me sink into the gravitational pull toward earth. As I was scanning my body, I could clearly feel the areas of tension accumulated from holding myself upright, not to mention the impact of the stresses of daily life. Lying in the horizontal plane is not something I have done much of these past few months as I’ve been sleeping in more of a meditative posture and not by choice. It has been wild to witness the fury of my body undergoing duress as I continue to be processed in the meat grinder of life. Ok, a little dramatic but sometimes it feels like that and it is better to laugh with a twist of dark humor (thanks Pluto) than to not laugh at all…
Read MoreWhen you are walking through Hell…keep going! Why does this thought make me laugh so hard? Because it is so obvious? Or maybe because when you know the temperature of the inner hell realms so intimately that just thinking of them sears your flesh, the only options are to laugh or cry. I don’t know but maybe there is something about the dichotomy of opposing forces that does bring us to the middle path. Pain and suffering on one end versus joy and laughter on the other. Perhaps somewhere in between is where the homeostasis of being resides, and from there, it is only human to taste the flavors of said emotional spectrum…
Read MoreYou know how people say...”In the spirit of _fill in the blank_?” In the spirit of Christmas, teamwork, frothy matcha with housemade almond milk, etc. Well, tonight I am reflecting on my moment and this rambunctious lunar eclipse befalling us and in the spirit of vulnerability, I would like to share some of mine with you. Deep sigh. Ok…it has been a very challenging couple of months for me. I feel that I’ve been consumed by a literal fire within my body that has truly challenged me on every level. Health is wealth, my Godfather always says, and it is true! And lately, I’ve been feeling a bit impoverished in this area while going through a compost phase of sorts…
Read MoreComfort is a curious thing. I’ve noticed just how eager I am to feel it, especially in times of distress or when I feel deeply uncomfortable due to whatever the circumstance, illness, challenge, etc happens to be. There is a register, almost an internal yearning for homeostasis, that seeks comfort as one would a soft blanket to melt into. However, when is it that true change of mind, thought, action, attitude, and beliefs, occur? Certainly not in a state of comfort…
Read MoreAs willing as one is to see, this new moon in Aries (a truly rare hybrid eclipse on all levels) will pierce the veils to the inner realms of knowing thy self. The question could be, how willing are you? In my bones, in the cells of the marrow of my bones, I am receiving a very deep invitation to change. And not just my mind about something in particular, or a habit, but to see myself as I have never before and in seeing what I cannot unsee, I am now tasked with a new responsibility to do something about it…
Read MoreOr maybe, “To read the headlines or not to read the headlines, that is the question.” I recall a conference years ago where Alberto Villoldo, amongst others, was speaking on prophecy, shamanism, climate change, etc. He spoke about the changing times and the impulse for us as humans to seek refuge from natural disasters, wars, and intolerable temperatures, offering the example of someone seeking to get away from land swept by fire only to be devastated by floods somewhere else. His eventual point, there are no “safe places”…
Read MoreI've been reflecting under this Libra full moon opposing Chiron (the wounded healer), as I've been enduring a very challenging moment of being human. I'm recognizing the fragility as well as the resilience of this incredible body and its capacity and willingness to be honest above and beyond my own self-deception. I’m learning that whatever it is that I’ve been avoiding, especially unconsciously, has created deep ravines and patterns that can be traced throughout my family lines in physical form. Typically we call them hereditary manifestations. Now that it’s my turn, I get to explore the true significance of what that means. Not just for me and my life and what it is that I have to change, but I’m learning about the consequences of individual and familial karma and how that plays out on the stage of the body…
Read MoreTime of birth is determined by the moment that the entire length of the body, from the head to the toes of the baby is outside of the mother’s body. This reminds me, at one point, each of us reading this right now spent many months inside another body (our mother) doing nothing other than coming into form as a human being. This is a radical reality that often lives outside my focused awareness somehow…
Read MoreI’m staring at a paradox inside my mind. On one hand, when I pull back into an intensely objective state I sense a realization that none of “this” matters. “This” may include all the things that seem so important at the moment, the goals, crushes, jobs, apartments, accolades, dreams, desires, memories, preferences, feelings…at times these can all swirl into a vapor and dissipate into the oneness of all reality. Wow. And then simultaneously, on the other hand..all the details, actions, words, choices, causes and effects, thoughts, and experiences do matter, they really matter, as nothing is hidden under the sun…
Read MoreImagine a glass house dressed in exquisite interiors, humid from the indoor pool that wafts memories with the likeness of the local rec center from our childhood. Floor-to-ceiling windows inspire perspective and allow the morning light to pour in without warning, illuminating every corner. The temperature fluctuates, noticeably sensitive to and in sync with the surrounding environment. Vulnerability presents itself and yet there is a sense of strength and faith that the house will hold us powerfully through the storms, inside and out. What metaphor did we just live through up there in that sanctuary, three hours from the hustle and bustle of New York City?
Read MoreHi! Do you ever wonder if anyone is out there thinking or feeling the same things you are? I do as I get squeezed through the emotional plunges of an empathic flight through this moment of humanity. It is a wild time, that is for sure. Between the fluidity of genders blending into new types of identified beings beyond the human species, AI feeling sad, Ohio as the next Chernobyl, and imminent war in the air, I have all the feels. When I say imminent, it could be a couple of years off but I can smell it. And when my future senses are dialed in, I start living today in preparation for what is coming down the pipeline of life. The next step? Stay present…
Read MoreA: Writing this week’s journal I was playing with the question, “Must I Accept This?” This question arose in response to simply being with what is so. When a loved one passes too soon, or thousands of lives are consumed by the earth and her tremors as has happened in Turkey. Or that I found myself in bed with the flu, so minor of course, and yet I still had to surrender to the fever that took me into its flame. Instead of the acceptance occurring as a forcing function, I rather look to my stoic and philosophical brothers such as Marcus Aurelius, and embrace the moment with all that I am…
Read MoreCaroline Kane…A woman of love, integrity, laughter, and compassion. Her energy, so full of light. As she passed in these recent days, I remind myself to focus on the new direction of her light, omni in presence and unlimited in scope. And inside my heart, her light radiates as a brilliant fire of pure gold…
Read MoreThis question has arrived for me this week. Even with a boundless forward momentum running through me like lightning, I am observing the various pathways inside my psyche, and they run at very different speeds. In one flow of being, there is such joy and exuberance for what is possible. Though “everything is possible” is my favorite mantra, I am starting to have wild meditations comprehending the meaning of this more and more. It is almost disturbing to my senses to go into the “everything” part and yet, here we are in this very particular world of creation, destruction, and all that exists between…
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