Posts in Present
What Is Holy About This Moment?

This time of year is always a very significant marker of death and rebirth; both on the cosmic stage demonstrated with such elegance by Jesus and his disciples and as well for me on a personal level. Five years ago this week, I went through an intense psychological death-- I left my homes, supposed marriage, livelihood, community, and a hefty layer of my false identity.

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Which Way Will the Wind Blow?

The winds of destiny can be fierce and at other times breezy. They can pulsate between cold to cool and warm to hot depending on the moment of life being lived. The exchange of temperature creates an intense rotation that often marks that of a tornado; a powerful vortex of energy that eradicates what is in the way or that which has been before now.

Today expresses a full Libran moon and the scales of cosmic balance are in full effect. The lunar glow is a semblance of the brilliant light from the Aries sun in conjunction with Venus and Chiron. In other words, Love is in the air and the deep penetrating fiery light within it will dredge up any hurts, traumas, and wounds ready to meet this moment in courage for healing.

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What Are You Leaving Behind?

Today marks the spring equinox. This day is a living paradox of mystery and science, that which is enigmatic and yet clearly makes sense when studied through measure. The very practical notion of the sun crossing the celestial equator, as well as the vibrant metaphor of an expressive rebirth following a long internal winter season. The flowers bloom through the snow and our animal nature is stirred towards procreative efforts. While the energy is that of moving forward and rising up, we are simultaneously shedding layers of dead weight of what no longer serves us. What are you leaving behind?

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Weeping, Are You?

This new moon in Pisces feels like it is drawing a long bath to soak my inner world into. The culmination of so much change, loss, transformative and confrontational conversations, acceptance, and the relentless reality of the mundane all appears to be added into this whirlpool. I contemplate while releasing the tears from my worn heart. I weep for the past and for the future in this present moment, and let. it. go.

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Are You Excited?

I am. Deeply… are you? In constant awe of the range of emotions I can feel within an hour, I find a profound resonant beauty within this kaleidoscopic existence. As a human, our capacity to feel is so relevant and also proportional to our level of being. Imagine with me the felt sense of every aspect of every emotion, the shape-shifting perseverance of what it is to be human, as well as the need to discern throughout the entire range of what is possible and ask, is this real? Is what I am feeling true...or false?

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Where Do I Place My Disappointment?

Is it ok to feel this way? Yes, yes it is. I feel let down in this moment and while I take a peek into the many strata of this emotion, I explore my relationship to this enigmatic space of feeling disappointment. What am I to do with this? Does it nestle up with my grief? Or snuggle up to my sadness? Hmmmm, it is a bit of a mystery as to how I can allow myself this expression of reality without having to make it better. It just is.


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Whose Integrity?

Ours. Ultimately the integrity in question is always that which is the most intimate of all. Despite any impulse to look outside ourselves for the wrongdoing of the moment or the action of another, regardless of what is provoked from within us, the journey of reclamation of power begins at home.

Humans are the stewards of vast realities created by ourselves. These realities have an immense impact upon everything touched, spoken to, loved, or unloved. Inside of each of us is a world of worlds and our current state of consciousness can only access so much of this information at a time. The majority of the inner workings of who we don’t know ourselves to be remain unconscious yet completely active under the surface layers of our psyche.

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How Does It Feel to Become?

If only I was a Monarch Butterfly, it wouldn’t be a question of whether to dissolve from my previous state into another or not, it would simply be so. And the invitation is here for us humans as well. The problem is etymological - we just don’t have a socially accepted vocabulary for (or a scientific method to prove) that which is so organic and naturally occurring in our psyche, if we allow it.

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What Is Your Moment?

I cried tonight, I laughed out loud, I sat and stared into the flame. There are so many moments in a moment and right now the full spectrum of aliveness calls me within. I wanted to share with you a letter I wrote to our Joan of Sparc community that encapsulates this moment for me. Not all sides of it, not the intrinsic transformative fluid nature of what occurs inside the chrysalis walls… yet, there is a hint of what is to be.

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How Pregnant is Your Pause?

Inside of each one of us is a vision of life. It is unique, it is bold, and it is empowered by the grace that beats our hearts. Your particular vision is one for the ages, the essence of which has been touched by every molecule that you are. All the blood, sweat, and tears you have experienced as a human being brushes its DNA upon the effervescent and indescribable nature of your embryonic light of mind. It is both a duty and a service to live this into reality. Where are you in the journey of your becoming? This moment feels weighted with divine fire. The energy is pressing each one of us to the edge of our discomfort. This is growth. This is right now…

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What Are You Waiting For?

In this moment, anticipation runs hot...like a fever. The temperature rises as Mars and Uranus come together in exact conjunction with today’s moon in the realm of Taurus. The United States is inaugurating a new president and the world is on the edge of their seats. Some are waiting to exhale, others’ to see if their conspiracy trip manifests at last. Today is a day to remember, and much like every other day in this fearless decade, it is a day of powerful change.

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From Where Does Your Moral Compass Originate?

I’m enveloped in a tempest of torrential empathy. Heartbreak abounds. Underneath the anger, blame, and confusion there exists a deep wound, a festering and blistering laceration gushing in the daylight for all to smell--- and it is psychological. Although we are very much engrained to look to sides for an answer, if we go within, we may find that both “sides” are there. The exalted and the frightful, the noble as well as the unspeakable exist inside the psyche. As within so without. Are we willing to see the hatred that infects our unconscious? This is a good time for prayer. Eventually, amidst the journey of our own humanity, we will have to bear witness to that which we have avoided. Right now in the current episode of “This Is America”, we have an incredible scene to chew on, digesting some and vomiting the rest.

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Streamlined?

As 2021 is now upon us, it’s obvious that some of the astrological forecasts are on point. I feel the electric surge only gearing up as one consistent shock after another sparks new layers of release. Perhaps I didn’t fully let-it-all-go at the end of 2020 since I’ve been busy digging deep, excavating my startup in preparation for rebirth. Instead, I’m innovating in the resolution sphere as my whole life consists of everyday resolve. Streamline is my word for this year...what is yours?

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What Did You Learn in 2020?

This year of years has proven to accelerate every other process in its wake. What do I mean by this? When we are in a crisis, regardless if it is personal or global, we are forced to reconcile with what is truly important. Priorities are highlighted amidst the necessity to remain centered while navigating the challenging terrain of the unknown.

Due to the lack of linear form we have now entered within the portal of this new decade, there is no particular order of lessons to discover. Each cosmic teaching disguised within the mundane is a world of its own, each moment a continuation of the one before and a prequel to the movie of our future. While on the river of deep gratitude one has the opportunity to arrive at the basecamp of what is Awesome. May that which we have learned in this past year prepare us for what has yet to come.

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Winter Solstice Reflection: A Year in Review?

The natural inclination to withdraw from external stimulus arrives with the North winds upon the cusp of autumn and winter. As this year has proven to be anything but “normal,” it is quite possible that we could even overlook this very personal invitation to reflect.

Just because we may find ourselves in lockdown or hunkered in doesn’t mean we won’t be seeking to distract ourselves. For many, our senses are nearly numb with controversy and the holidays will look vastly different than in previous years.

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What Color is Your Shadow?

Beyond the lit candle sparkling a dance upon the cloth circular womb of this Mongolian yurt I write from tonight, there lies the shadow, inevitable in nature. This time of year aches for deep reflection and with 2020 coming to a close, there is endless material to digest in contemplative thought. While many of us seek refuge from the exposure of such density and corruption that has literally come to light in recent times, I find myself invited to explore more of what lurks underneath.

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Is Faith a Mountain?

In the present day epic unfolding of what I have perceivably known as my life, I can only give thanks and more thanks for what is currently revealing from within. Tests, there have been many, will certainly continue to appear upon the path ahead. Yet at this moment when I had nearly lost my footing while immersed in waves of circumstantial exhaustion, a bold new light of resonant power illuminates my inner darkness and despair. The unconscious is exorcised as I dutifully surrender to the gift at hand and lean into the brilliance of my steadfast faith.

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Can You Feel the Momentum?

Happy glorious new moon in Scorpio marked with a swiftness upon the horizon. Mars is the god of war and also refers to a planetary body that rules over our actions, aggressions, and masculinity. With this fierce warrior planet now direct after a long Mars retrograde through its home sign of Aries, we may finally access the realm of decisiveness, clarity, and revivalist chutzpah that has been lacking the past several months. Emerging from a chaotic deep-dive review of our beingness, we will be gaining speed by the day while noting the revelatory insights gleaned from our recent past.

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