Where Do I Place My Disappointment?
Cancel Culture: An Expression of Disappointment
Q: Where Do I Place My Disappointment?
A: Is it ok to feel this way? Yes, yes it is. I feel let down in this moment and while I take a peek into the many strata of this emotion, I explore my relationship to this enigmatic space of feeling disappointment. What am I to do with this? Does it nestle up with my grief? Or snuggle up to my sadness? Hmmmm, it is a bit of a mystery as to how I can allow myself this expression of reality without having to make it better. It just is.
Disappointment carries an intense weight behind the scenes. Whether it is the blatant disregard for human beings (or all beings for that matter), or a very specific incident that leaves us awash with this uncomfortable and often unaccepted feeling. It can fluctuate from a very palpable and obvious presence that drowns all within reach into a forced solemnity and depressive energetic to an oh-so-subtle, nearly invisible at times, aspect of personality that comes out in passive-aggressive comments or remains latent whereas only the beholder suffers in a deafening silence.
Certainly, the past year has been a year of disappointment for many people on this planet. Canceled trips, canceled holidays, canceled promotions, canceled livelihoods, canceled relationships...and then there is cancel culture.
A Disappointing Experiment
How is cancel culture an expression of disappointment and is there a place for it? I often refer to science as a lens and metaphor through which I can see more clearly. In basic chemistry, we know that every element has its appropriate expression and usefulness. In certain environments, an element may thrive and even create benefits for all such as when you mix sodium and chloride together to make salt. However, take them out of this ionic compound chemical formula and you have sodium - an explosive and chloride - a poisonous gas, either of which when mixed with other substances can lead to death.
Cancel Culture
So is there a time and place to “cancel” others? Let’s analyze together…Is it good to call out those who are implicitly harming others to get them to stop? Yes! Is it important for the truth to be known when evil deeds have been covertly enacted behind closed doors that have an immense negative impact, small or global, on other human beings? Yes! And yet, I beg the question, what are the limits? When does #metoo shift from being a vehicle for the violations of so many to finally come to light for all to reconcile within our own hearts to later becoming an opportunistic hashtag that some use maliciously to destroy lives through sharing falsehoods?
When does it become a sick and twisted indulgence to unconsciously feed a superiority/inferiority complex as a source of revenge for individual pain, trauma, etc. that may be completely unrelated to a particular issue? We must utilize our superpower of discernment for there is much to read between the lines of this new cultural expression.
Cancel culture, defined in Wikipedia:
Cancel culture (or call-out culture) is a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles – whether it be online, on social media, or in person.
What is the shadow side of this? Online Shaming, described in Wikipedia:
Online shaming is a form of public shaming in which internet users are harassed, mocked, or bullied by other internet users online. This shaming may involve commenting directly to or about the shamed; the sharing of private messages; or the posting of private photos. Those who are shamed online have not necessarily committed any social transgression, however.
A Need For Truth
There is no easy way to approach this subject. One speaking up about it will surely receive daggers of all blades of bias. As someone who has experienced a global gaslighting campaign, I know the consequences of this shadowy realm. And it is such a delicate topic as there is a need for truth and a social responsibility to say no publicly when behavior is harmful or out of line. We have to hold each other accountable and most importantly we need to hold ourselves to this same standard.
It is another thing altogether when activism or righteousness is used to point fingers and blame another only to elevate oneself and their following. Have you seen this? Where is our recall that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and that we are not superior or inferior to one another? Where does publicly calling out another for their misgivings become an addiction to which feeds the ego of superiority?
Something is off here, deeply off, and when I look through the kaleidoscope of the present moment, I can still see what is inherently unifying of all people. There is reality beyond the illusory constructs and distractions of these times. Reality is divided into two arenas. That which is true within us and that which is false. They both live under our skin, beneath our heartbeat, and are woven into our soul. These two things are played out in our karmic dramas in the external planes and through our inner work on the internal planes. It is up to us to lean towards the latter as much as possible.
My disappointment (meaning the defeat of the realization or fulfillment of) in this moment is very pointed towards faulty leadership, governing bodies in general, the loss of lives, the arrogance of cancel culture, prejudice, racism, sexism, predatory behavior, pushing of boundaries, lack of awareness, fear used to control, not having the freedom to move as I want (Oh Canada), my own relationship with social media when I’m tired, and when I’m feeling let down.
Where to place all of these feelings? And why is it that we aren’t taught to let the disappointment breathe until it dissipates with our felt understanding?
We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.
