Are You Excited?
The Many Realms of Excitement
Q: Are You Excited?
A: I am. Deeply… are you? In constant awe of the range of emotions I can feel within an hour, I find a profound resonant beauty within this kaleidoscopic existence. As a human, our capacity to feel is so relevant and also proportional to our level of being. Imagine with me the felt sense of every aspect of every emotion, the shape-shifting perseverance of what it is to be human, as well as the need to discern throughout the entire range of what is possible and ask, is this real? Is what I am feeling true...or false?
Maybe some of you would argue with me that every feeling is based on a subjective truth and I am not actually inclined to debate that at all. Besides, it may only be within the most intimate reaches of our own inner world that it matters to know the difference. And in my experience, I find that this matters a lot. Feelings come and go, they swim in, and they whirlwind throughout. There is something so delicate and powerful about the sensitive and intensive nature of our emotional body; reminds me of a paradox singing a metaphor.
All of this to explore this moment I’m present to right now, and then the juxtaposition of this moment in relation to last night and how vastly different my experience is while still being myself. I have always loved my dear friend and Godfather’s attitude when someone shares with him about their woes. He may respond with a smile, this statement in question form, “maybe you need to get a bigger problem?”
So why am I excited? Because I have a big problem, a really big problem and I am thrilled about it. Not about the problem itself, yet around the authentic nature of my spirit called to be a part of the solution of what is an achingly exponentially growing problem within our global society.
The Mental Health Crisis
Are you aware that we are in a mental health crisis? That the rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, and other imbalances within the mental sphere are at an all-time high? Are you aware this picture is only expanding in its raw and relentless severity?
I am excited because, although touching into layers of exhaustion during the birthing process, I can see the possibility of a new future. One that is inherently supportive and transformative and this is something I have been working towards with all of my heart. Now, this is a collective movement and it will take thousands, if not millions of people like me who are as passionate about the reclamation of self as I am to shift the needle. I am simply enthused to be one of them.
In the process, I am changing my mind. It is a requirement for me to do so. And in applying the methodology that I teach to both myself and my projects, I am learning more and more which is a true blessing in itself. Walk the talk Ciela, live it and become it. So what does this mean? A deep intervention into my own psyche, looking closely at what I have been avoiding for ages, holding my weaknesses up to the light, and peering in with a daring gaze to my self-deceptive nature.
Change is Epic
Change is perhaps one of the most strenuous processes I experience in life. And I love it. So much. I love the shedding, I love the honesty, I love the tears of joy and pain washing me anew, I love the breaking open of my austerity only to reveal my radical expressive self, I love the moments of gasping between cries of agony as I silently touch my own faith and know, I love that I am not alone on this journey, I love that every time I am brought to my knees I remember how good it is to be there, I love that it is all so so worth it… every time.
I am in it, in the midst of the unfolding, the becoming of a new version of me. I wonder how long this one will last before the cycle begins again? Either way, I am coming to accept that metamorphosis is my homeostasis. I love the intrinsic nature of the miraculous cycle of death, rebirth, and transformation that I have earned a dance with again and again. Thank you Pluto for this transit of a lifetime. I honor those who have walked before me and offer my respect to those who will follow suit.
Let’s do this… and yes, I’m excited.
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.
