Are You in Question?
Q: Are You in Question?
A: If you are “in question” you are in good company. I would actually like to know who out there is not questioning authority, regulations, the government, leaders, relationships, marketing, media, where your food comes from, your beliefs, and everything else within you that speaks up, provokes, and generates internal dialogue?
I find myself in the depths of a new and unfamiliar type of curiosity. The churn initiated last fall is shifting into a new cyclic dimension and with it new discoveries will come to light. Astrology is such a profound and primordial access point to the wisdom within our hearts. It is in these times that I find myself so grateful to have this language imprinted into my cellular memory with an insatiable ache to keep learning. The brilliance found inside the light reflected from the stars above inspires.
As we nudge towards the end of 2020, the stakes continue to rise and a coup d’etat is in the works. Most of us have not experienced this level of radical upheaval within the collective. Our nervous systems are being charged on a moment to moment basis as we balance staying informed with staying grounded in the present moment.
If you are seeking to make sense of the craziness of this world, perhaps one place we know we can find refuge is in our inner work. These are the times where we are pushed to our limits and can make exceptional progress if we allow ourselves to simultaneously embrace the moment and surrender to what is out of our control. From being in denial or resistance to becoming an artist molding the clay of the psyche, transmutation is possible around every corner and within every fiery obstacle.
Today I am observing new layers of self-deception that are revealing themselves almost as a fascia within every facet of mind. Just as the organs, muscles, and every cell in the body is covered in the tissue network of fascia, so appears to be the very cunning workings of my own self-deception. As I probe further, where am I not deceiving myself? Maybe that is a good place to begin.
In an almost catacombed state of meditation, in that sweet spot between waking and sleep, I follow the invitation to witness the internal conflict and tension that perpetually lives between my mind and heart. In the external world, it reflects the great divide between true and false, right and wrong, black and white. It is a journey from one end of the spectrum to the other. And when I say heart, I refer to the heart of my heart that holds the light of truth.
It is the self-deception that has encased this light, blinding me in the darkness and ignorance of my own choosing. Yes, I am responsible for leaning into self-deception rather than the valiant alternative of my inner knowing. And having preferred the lie as opposed to truth because it is more familiar, feels better, or offers a soothing and momentary pleasure, there is now a powerful cost to make the leap in the other direction.
I can no longer avoid or ignore what I can see, a poisonous resentment created from my own mind towards my very own heart. I kneel down within and seek solace. I accept and am flooded with remorse. This is my own doing and it is mine to resolve. For a moment I catch the glimpse of how these two forces can work in unison when my priorities are clarified. It is in going to bed with a sincere question in mind that can lead me to the prayer answered within my heart.
We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.
