Who Do You Think You Are?
Q: Who Do You Think You Are?
A: Well that is a bold question and a curious one to boot. Isn’t this the question? Who am I?
Well perhaps there is a difference between who I actually am and who I think I am. Thoughts, who is thinking? For me it really depends on the moment whereas at times I am identifying as Ciela, a woman…or perhaps as an entrepreneur, a writer etc. And another moment still, a daughter to my Lord. The first example clearly defines more of how I experience my gender followed suit by my actions and what I do. The latter, a home base from which I can orientate myself in any given moment from the complexity to the simplicity of life…a daughter.
Or perhaps I would like to think of myself as organized since many Capricorns are, yet internally I am relishing in the creative chaos that engulfs my senses. Could there be a disconnect between how I perceive myself, or want to be, and how I actually am? Perhaps lofty thoughts of grandeur ensue only to recognize my modest place in the greater whole amongst all beings. Who is it that dreams up “ideals” that may actually end in self-destruction? The partner, the house, the money, the job etc? Only to arrive and still feel empty…
Thinking. Who is thinking?
Of how many minds am I? The Tibetans speak of 84,000 egos or individual I’s/minds. Can you fathom this? That perhaps you aren’t who you think you are? That there are fragments of mind thinking for you? The addict? The prostitute? The cynical one? Have you noticed these thoughts…hidden deep within? A decent exercise in the exploration of self is to look at someone with whom you abhor. List the qualities that irritate you about them. And then turn the mirror on yourself and ask… “Do I have arrogance within me? What is my relationship to self-importance? Is my anger on the surface or hidden deep within?
Who do I think I am? Throughout my life I have reflected on a version of this question which has in turn evolved within the very significance of the question itself. Realizing now that it is not just “I” who thinks about who I am, but perhaps many “I’s”. And ultimately, the question goes in circles until I find an answer in an entirely different question. Who do I know I am? And this is beyond thought, and beyond belief…the answer to this exists only in my faith, faith earned through my direct experience of life. It isn’t the answers I seek, it is in the questions that I find myself.
Who do you think you are? This is a good place to start and review, especially in the time of Mercury in retrograde, where reviewing the mind is in perfect alignment with this moment. And who are we really? As sons and daughters of …(I say my Lord, perhaps you say Creator or Universe or see your physical parents in this space), that which is greater, within the forces of negative and positive which creates light. A spark, a flame, an impenetrable fire ignited in our hearts…a treasure to discover, again and again. This is who we are, in the heart of our hearts, in the purity of our essence, in the resounding roar of our inner cosmic feline in courageous delight.
