Who Are You Now?
We Love A Good Plot Twist
Q: Who Are You Now?
A: I am birthing myself into a singer...of pop songs! I know, it is a wild plot twist in the story of my life yet it is such a natural form of expression for me that has been under wraps for far too long.
I grew up singing solos in every school play, musical, and eventually choir from kindergarten into high school. I had a true leaning towards jazz and the blues, the kind where I felt it in my heart so deep.
Later, when I got more involved in competitive sports, I moved that stamina and energy onto the slopes and onto the field. And, I forgot myself…
Sometimes I would have dreams of singing then literally, wake up and forget. Or I would sing in the shower or belt it out in the car as many others do as well.
Finding My Voice Again
At some point, when I was living a half-life as a human in the shell of what appeared to be a high-functioning woman in leadership (that is another story), I began to seek my voice out again. It was far, far away, buried under years of abuse and trauma, and full of dust and cobwebs.
I started to take some lessons here and there. Whenever I was in New York I would see my favorite teacher, Vivian, a retired Soprano from the Sydney Opera House but as Greek as they come. She tried to feed me both as I arrived and left every session. I love Vivian. She awoke not just a spark of my voice that felt like a lanky adolescent struggling through puberty in those days, but also my spirit, reminding me of who I was.
Later, after my life dissolved from its previous form and I was starting to pick myself up again, I found the guitar. I became slightly obsessed as sometimes occurs and would find myself picking it up just around midnight and playing and writing songs into the early hours of the morning. I was finally free, no one could tell me what to do.
After My Year of My Midnight Routine
I had the chance to play for an audience. It wasn’t something I ever imagined and I was still sooooo very early in singing/songwriting. It was sweet, I practiced a lot. I shared original songs. It was powerful for me and I hope it was digestible for the audience. If you were there, thank you for listening and encouraging me as that experience tore open an old wound that needed some sunlight to shine upon it.
It was exhilarating to sing to a couple of hundred people as such a novice, and then I put my guitar down for years and just buried myself in work as a startup entrepreneur. I love work, please don’t get me wrong, and I am a hard worker with a strong ethic. However, I realize that if I don’t have balance it can easily creep into every free space that I have.
Only a couple of months ago, this June, I got the internal nudge that I needed to sing again. And not just in the shower, but every day, even for 15 minutes. I needed to work my atrophied muscles and not only that, I needed to bring the music of my heart into full aliveness and get back into the studio.
A couple of years ago, around the time I sang before that crowd of 200 people, I had a friend who was starting his music studio. I had money and wanted to support him, in exchange, he invited me to create two songs. He lives in Minneapolis and I was flying back from New York so I could make it happen. I had a horrible sinus infection and still, it didn’t stop me from falling in LOVE with being in the womb of that studio. I had found my happy place. Fleeting as it was, a seed was planted. The songs were drafty yet full of heart…
Serendipity Or Destiny?
So fast forward, yes, I got the memo. Time to get in the studio. I mentioned to my dear friend I was looking for a producer. It just so happened that one of the most talented beings I have yet to meet in the realm of music was traveling through Wyoming to record and work on his podcast on Wolves.
I feel it is a match made in my personal heaven. I am thrilled, reliving that exhilaration every time my vocal cords are massaged by sound, or I am in a literal closet covered in blankets singing into a mic, I couldn’t be happier, more joyful, or more exuberant.
I am a singer. I knew it but didn’t truly believe it or believe in myself in this way. This is who I am, much deeper than what you can see or hear today, the gift of song runs in my blood and through my soul. So I am over the moon to share new songs with you and ask you to join and support my Patreon page. As I am still forging ahead to build my new company (more on this soon!), this is merely my hobby and it takes money to make an album go ‘round. This is a dream of mine, please help me bring it to life!
Thank you in the name of music!
Ciela
ps. I will be dropping my first single exclusively on my Patreon page on the 22nd. I hope you will join me in the celebration!!
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