And Discernment?
Q: And Discernment?
A: On the journey of self-discovery, we inevitably find ourselves at some point entering into the “dark forest” as so eloquently expressed in Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, Canto I:
Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.
Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear.
So bitter is it, death is little more;
But of the good to treat, which there I found,
Speak will I of the other things I saw there.
I cannot well repeat how there I entered,
So full was I of slumber at the moment
In which I had abandoned the true way.
Dante takes us lyrically and metaphorically into the first submerged layer of our process. It is dark, difficult to see, and there is much we don’t yet understand.
As we venture farther into the shadow aspects of our life, we must, over time become like a sommelier for truth. Knowing that the false adores to pretend, to dress up and imitate the truth, the trained palette will be able to discern the most distinguished of egos utterly attempting to deceive them, and sometimes they still do.
Discernment is not something we have officially learned throughout our education and most likely we didn’t learn this at home either. What would our life have been like to have this skill set while navigating our teens and twenties? Did we have to make all of those mistakes? Could we have instead made dignified choices that empowered our creativity instead of those that led us down the roads of self-destruction?
What is important is that we are learning this now in the field or on the job as they say...of life. Having made some wrong choices, through retrospection we can thoroughly analyze what steps led us to that ‘fate’ in the first place. Hindsight is 2020 as the saying goes. Well, I believe that foresight is better and possible.
The test...anger. What is there to discern inside the element of anger? Oh how many types and facets of anger there are! Let’s look at the moment someone hurts you. Maybe you go through shock, denial, anger, sadness, and eventual acceptance. You process this experience through these very organic and naturally occurring stages.
However, if one gets stuck in anger, it becomes sour, putrid, leading to a poisonous thick residue called resentment. At first, anger can be a natural response stemming from respect of oneself, ie there was rightful cause to be angry. If we never express anger, we would all be tolerant towards tyrants and that would be an enslaved collective mind.
Yet, if we get hooked, and lose sight of ourselves inside of the anger while feeling it, we become identified with it, we get trapped. Our personality wraps around it and anger now seeps into deeper layers that are unconscious, awaiting its next victim to pounce upon. As a sommelier can you taste the difference? The first example of processing healthy anger has a powerful impact, is robust in the middle, with a strong finish. And resentment? Slow on the front, heavy notes of wasted time mid palette, and leaves with a bitter ending.
Initially, we may not see the difference inside anger or be aware enough to trace these emotions into their origin. Discernment is this art and at first, we may feel clumsy yet later with practice, we refine our process. The deeper we go, the more intense the tests from the world become. Not only will we be asked to discern our emotions and thoughts as to whether they are of ego or of our essence, we will also then venture into who is actually doing the thinking? And why? What does this thought connected with this emotion hope to provoke from within me, what action or result is it seeking? Is it life-affirming or eventually harmful? Is there immediate pleasure, yet later an epic painful void? Will I taste the pleasure regardless of the consequence? From where am I oriented inside of myself? Who is in the center of control? Is it my devotion to that which is greater than me, encouraging me to be? Or is it ‘I’, ‘myself’, that has an agenda here that is looking not to be? That is the question.
Discernment naturally guides our life forward. The use of it, or lack thereof, determines the structure and makeup of our external world as a reflection of the internal choices we make. Who we commune with and why is of utter importance in regards to the quality of our life. We are the company we keep. So, who are you? Look to the five people closest to you, they are your best mirror of both integrity and weakness.
As we venture further inside this quest, we come upon the question, is it my will or a higher will urging me forward? Do I want this (whatever it may be) out of greed or a desire for fame or do I want this for the betterment of the whole? This is a powerful moment on the journey. We shall come around to this apex again and again as we strip ourselves of the habits and tendencies that are blocking our flow, our creative purpose, or from bringing our vision to life. This is a magic pause. Can we go deeper inside, observing the selfish desires in order to work to understand them, and through reverence of the miracle that is your very life, seek a living truth inside of you that is bigger than your desire alone? Can you touch into the veins of gold that have the power to influence the world for the better?
The caveat; we are not strong enough to do this alone. Go ahead and try. Moving mountains upon your own back will only break you. Surrendering into the support from within will make you. Jesus, one of the great teachers and examples of inner work expresses:
Luke 22:42
“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.
Regardless of your religion, or lack thereof, let’s view this from objectivity. Here, in living action, he is exemplifying both humility and faith. The willingness to be used, to be useful for something greater than our own limited imagination, selfish needs, or where we become self-important, is the key to our actual transformation. Discernment is the doorway as well as a virtue that holds our hand, navigating us toward our brilliance and possibility.
As we walk the inner journey, it is reflected in our outer journey of career, relationships, environment, expression etc. They are one in the same; as within, so without. Discernment provides us the tools to truly find our alignment with our truth, this is a higher octave of work than solely leaning into manifestation to build a future. When we recognize our ability to transform ourselves, we may also touch into the responsibility of our impact, both on a personal and social level.
A trained sommelier of inner work can quickly determine the difference between love and lust, between that which is true and false...charity versus greed, temperance versus indulgence, etc, etc.
“Vision is the ability to see through the dense mass of meaningless stuff that a visionless life has caused us to construct.”
~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
