Is Surrender an Art Form?
Q: Is Surrender an Art Form?
A: The only true power I have is when I deeply surrender. This courageous act is much more than meets the eye. It is not one of simply accepting my iniquities and thrusting them towards an invisible God of sorts as if to say, “please take this, I no longer want to be with it.” Although, acceptance does occur at the beginning of a long process within the depths of surrender and opens the pathway to what this immense virtue has to teach us.
How many of us begin our inner work and feel overwhelmed with the tasks at hand? The layers and layers of egoic tendencies that we become conscious of seem endless and can, in defense of themselves, begin to distort our vision of reality. Almost consuming our worldview, curtailing us towards ideas of a swift movement towards hell in a handbasket, our unconscious can get the best of us if we allow it.
The number one tool is our focused attention. Distraction is the number one enemy. Keeping your heart’s gaze upon that which is greater in moments of despair, terror, and detrimental doubt can keep you strong in your center. The more we align with our intention to become who we truly are, the stronger the fight can be.
I realize not everyone is comfortable considering the inner battlefield exists and that our work is to show up upon it with all we’ve got. Some would prefer to look at spirituality as merely chanting, physical asana, or reading self-help books/journals like this one. While those practices are beautiful and nourishing, truly, it is so much more. It is the work we do internally that is deeply intimate and not recognized by external accolades that counts. I recently heard this saying which gave me the giggles;
Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been.
Lately, I’ve had the honor of diving ever more deeply into the exploration of surrender. It’s been grueling and yet graceful at the same time. I became present to ‘you get what you pray for’. Awareness of some brutal truths about myself surfaced that I had to face. There was no way around it but through. I accepted that I had created some very painful and dishonoring behaviors and ways of being that prior to this moment had been quite unconscious. When the unconscious becomes conscious, there is a catharsis of sorts, and it can be agonizing in the moment.
Without throwing myself under the bus of the collective mind’s tendency to judge without understanding, I will save the gritty details for another moment. Trust me, it was hard to see. And yet, in a very short digression, how hard is it for us to see what is happening in the world around us? Are we ready to face the world within that is not separate from the world outside? I feel we are. Ready or not, here it comes…the good, the bad, and the devastatingly ugly.
With a lot of help from within, I saw, I accepted, and I merged into it. No longer could I separate myself from my own creation or attitude through objectivity alone. I knew that the objective perspective is absolutely necessary to analyze and come to understanding. What was new for me was that I had to learn how to be objective from inside of what I was surrendering. Up until this moment, I had often lugged the density of my mind towards the inner space of a high court if you will. I would arrive at a moment of truth, critical thinking, and prayer that inevitably works to dissolve the aggregate of the moment through comprehension which is revealed through lived experience.
Let’s use malaise for example. If malaise is my current work, instead of only observing myself in the depressed state and studying its behavior, at some point, when I am organically complete with a level of understanding, I will then go into the attitude of malaise directly and from within the eye of the storm, bring myself forward as if turning in a wanted criminal to the heart of my heart in surrendered prayer. It is an epic moment of paradox, both heavy and arduous while simultaneously liberating and celebratory.
The awe is infinite. What is possible is everything. How long have we overlooked the internal majestic landscapes of pure freedom within us? The sleepiness has been real, and the lethargy? Weighted. It is time to roar from the core of our truth and reclaim our lives from the false constructs we endearingly call ‘I’.
Surrender is possible and within it exists a university of study and honorable mention. All praise and deep respect for the various facets of what comprises the illuminated virtue and art form of what is Surrender.
